Living with my Brain Injury

“Continuing to Confront my Fears”

Since my brain injury, I never really wanted to go skiing again. In spite of my fears of long-distance travelling, balance and anxiety issues, I found myself celebrating the arrival of 2025, in the French Alps! 

For many months I had refused the invitation, but my boyfriend’s family wanted me to be part of their trip, so I agreed to go along! Don’t get me wrong, I have been skiing before but it was pre-brain injury and even then I didn’t really enjoy it! So, “what was going to be more tricky this time, since acquiring a brain injury eleven years ago?” I wondered?  “Was it going to be all the things that I find the most challenging?” These were the thoughts running through my head.

Although I worried about everything and hadn’t yet agreed to ski, I did tackle the local dry ski slopes before we went on holiday. There is a reduced rate for those with disability challenges, so it was only £11 an hours private lesson. This made it worthwhile for me to try.  I found an instructor who I really liked, which always helps. After two sessions on the dry slopes with him, it was nearly Christmas, which I celebrated at home with the family.  

On Boxing Day, there was a long drive from Norfolk to Portsmouth followed by a ferry ride, which I was scared of as well. I was anxious that the sea might be rough and that it could trigger feelings of being in a tumble dryer (just like how I felt after the brain injury).  

As it happened, the long journey in a car with three children and four adults didn’t really affect me.  The kids were great, and the adults were a lot of fun as well.  Of course, it was tiring as it took the best part of two days to get to the Alps, but it went very well.

Getting to the ski slopes in the mountains meant an icy walk from our rooms to the ski lift. Here we caught the cable car to the top of the slopes. To add to this, I didn’t have much time for my Mindfulness practise, which I normally rely on and do twice a day, to keep my brain calm.

My boyfriend and his family were great, encouraging me all the way. I was donated a little ‘sticky’ from a family member, which was invaluable for getting me around when I was on the icy mountain.

It really was very beautiful in the mountains. It took me a couple of days to acclimatise to the altitude as it’s between 1,250 and 3,250 metres!  I did find the air much thinner up there and it was quite hard to breathe at first.  Also, my stability was not good but ‘sticky’ my ski pole, was there to hand to keep me standing upright! Amazingly, I didn’t actually fall over the entire time I was there! My adjustable walking stick, had a point to dig in to the ice.

The kids loved being in the snow, but I still found it hard to relax into throwing myself down the mountain! Even getting around was tricky for me as I had to remember how to get back to the rooms on my own. Also using the key and getting to the right room was hard at first. These are all things I find difficult, and which took me a while to navigate. 

Another big fear was getting around on my own with my skis, as ‘sticky’ had to be put away each time I put my skis on.  My boyfriend took me up for the first time and it was good just starting on some nursery slopes for beginners. Once I realised that I could stop, which had been my worry, I found that I could use the snowplough to slow down. This gave me a lot more confidence.

Then we celebrated the New Year which was fantastic and there were some amazing fireworks. 

New Year’s Day was the time to put into practice what I had learnt! My lesson was an hour which was long enough and then I progressed to a Blue run.  I managed to do several  runs down over the three days and that was enough for me!

Anxiety had been present throughout all of this, but I do feel I managed to conquer some fears and I said that I would be happy to go again.  

The beautiful blue skies and amazing food made up for it. I certainly enjoyed little Vin Chaud along the way and I am really glad I went along to experience it all. I don’t think I’ll ever be a master skier, but I can only improve. 

The lesson that I learnt from this is that you have to take up any opportunity that comes your way, even if you are slightly petrified of doing it. I’m very lucky that I got the chance to go to such a beautiful place.

Happy New Year to everyone at Headway and wishing you a great 2025.

The content on this platform is produced by Emma Martins, Lived Experience Communicator, in collaboration with her support worker. All views expressed herein are solely those of Emma Martins and her support worker, and they do not necessarily reflect the opinions or positions of Headway Norfolk and Waveney.

It is essential to note that the content shared represents personal experiences and is not intended as professional advice. For medical guidance and assistance, especially if you require specific healthcare recommendations, it is strongly advised to consult with qualified medical professionals, including your general practitioner (GP). The information provided on this platform should not be considered a substitute for personalised medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Headway Norfolk and Waveney disclaims any liability arising from reliance on the information presented here for medical decision-making. Always consult with healthcare professionals for accurate and personalised guidance based on your individual circumstances.